Engineering as depicted in stock photos

hand drawing diagram in the air

Is this it, sir? I just draw in the air?
That’s the job. Draw in the air.
Is it always in color?
Not always.

man writing in the air

So most of the time I’ll be drawing in the air in black?
Mostly, yes.
Should I point occasionally?
Good, yes. I like that you’re showing initiative. Keep this up and we’ll get you a much smaller man to look pensively at.

a very small man appears

How’s the little man working out for you?
He’s…good.
You don’t like him?
No, it’s not that. I just thought he’d be littler.
Littler than that.
A bit. I do feel very pensive around him, though.

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Can’t ask for smaller than this, right Dale?
They’re very small, sir. Only…
Only?
It’s nothing, sir.
No, go ahead. Are these ones too small?
Oh, no sir, they’re just the right size, only you have to understand, I admire their work ethic but it feels like they’re doing all of the drawing in the air, sir, and all I’ve done is stare pensively.
I see.
And the room, sir.
The room?
It’s very white, sir.
I’ll see what I can do.

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How’s field work treating you, Dale? Fresh air? Cranes? Drawing for yourself again?
About the cranes…

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Sir? Hello? I hadn’t heard from you in a while and it’s very high up here, and cold, and I’ve gotten quite a lot of drawing done and I was just wondering when I could stop being in the sky?
I’m sorry, Dale, you’re breaking up a little bit.
I’m sure you weren’t complaining. You’ve never been a complainer.
You’ve done such a good job, Dale. We’re promoting you.
We’re promoting you as high as we can.
Sir?

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They haven’t forgotten me.
It’s probably time for my review soon.
They’ll call.
Of course they’ll call.
Just keep drawing.
Just look pensive.

All photos © Can Stock Photo

Apologies to Mallory Ortberg, who does this better than I ever could.

EDIT

Sorry, guys, but review time is fast approacing, and it’s time Pete Dokter saw what I can do. It’s not selling out if you’re not sure you’ll get a raise, right?

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